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Relationship and Marriage counseling can help you find out how in harmony you are.

The two most crucial factors that determine how compatible you are as a couple are:

A similar degree of psychological vitality and maturity and a compatible ranking of Instinctual Variants.

What are Instinctual Variants?
The 3 Instincts represent the inherant energies or drive that are essentially part of us as humans. Our personality is highly engaged with and is often dependent on these libidinal, instinctual energies to give it its spark.

Self Preservation Instinct.
People of this Instinctual type are often with the basic existential needs as they translate into our contemporary society, for example, money, food, accomodation, health, safety and comfort.
Being secure and physically comfortable are essential, and they will tend to bring these supplies with them.
When entering a room, they will tend to notice lighting, uncomfortable chairs, the room temperature, when the lunch break will be, and whether they will like the food provided. They also tend to be the most practical in the sense of taking care of pressing necessities of life.
They are the most introverted of the types.

Sexual/ Intimate Instinct.
People of this kind have a strong desire for intensity of experience and affection. The direct riveting gaze is the dead giveaway. When they enter a situation they gravitate toward people they feel magnetized to, as if they are looking for the juice. These people can be intimacy addicts, often neglecting pressing obligations or even basic maintenance if they are swept up in something that has captured them. This gives a expansive exploratory approach to life, but can also give a lack of focus of one’s own goals.

Social Instinct.
People of this variation are preoccupied on their interactions with others and with the sense of value and self esteem they receive from their involvement in collective activities. These include occupation, family, hobbies and clubs.
Upon entering a room, these people would immediately be aware of the relationships and subtle politics between different people and groups. They are subconsciously focused on other’s reaction to them, particularly about whether they are being accepted or not.
They need to interact with others to feel safe, acknowledged and energised. They seem to enjoy interacting with people, but they avoid intimacy.
They are the most extroverted of the types.

Within a person, one of these Instincts will predominate. In fact these three traits can be ordered liked the layers of a cake, with the most dominant one at the top. The least powerful one, at the bottom, is termed the blind spot.
These inherent instincts play a pivotal role in our relationships because people of the same type tend to share values and understand each other innately, and therefore feel very compatible.

In relationships between 2 different Instinctual types, each will struggle to convert the other.

For further information on discovering whether you and your partner are compatible, contact the Hart Centre Australia. We are Australia’s premier relationship and marriage counselling service with 53 locations Australia wide, and 8 relationship counselling centres in Brisbane, 3 marriage counselling centres in the Gold Coast, and 2 relationship counselling locations on the Sunshine Coast. Phone 1300 830 552 for appointments at all centres.

For relationship counselling Brisbane, marriage counselling gold coast and marriage counselling sunshine coast, contact your local Hart Centre.

If you really want to look deeply at why the two of you have the unique relationship and problems that you have, look no further than the Enneagram.

One of the most helpful ways to discover yourself and just as importantly, how you contribute to your relationship issues, is to look at your Enneagram profile.

The modern Enneagram is based on ancient Eastern wisdom combined with modern Psychological thought. There are 9 personality types each with different modes of thinking, feeling and acting. Each style has its own natural strengths, limitations, and blind spots.

When you know your Enneagram number, you can then be aware of the unconscious assumptions that drive the way you see yourself, do your work, and relate in your relationships.

And you can also understand why your partner seems to act in the bizarre, selfish, intrusive, self-interested, seductive or charming ways that he or she does.

Once you know how he or she see things from their perspective, you can see why they do the things they do which makes perfect sense to them.

There are no types that are better than any other. Each is effective in their own way, but from a very different point of view.

• Ones want to make things right.
• Twos need to be of help.
• Threes are driven to succeed.
• Fours have a deep desire to be special.
• Fives want to be left alone to think.
• Sixes seek safety and support.
• Sevens are connoisseurs of life’s pleasures.
• Eights are driven to dominate others.
• Nines don’t want to make waves.

For more information on how your and your partner’s Enneagram types interact, call us at the Hart Centre. We are a group of Psychologists around Australia who are passionate about relationships and specialise in relationship counselling.

With 15 relationship counselling centres in Sydney, and 12 relationship counselling centres in Melbourne, you will more than likely find one near you. Phone 1300830552 for more details.

Remember, for relationship counselling Sydney or relationship counselling Melbourne contact the Hart Centre.